A Palo Magazine Interview with Hillary Aponte-Chimelis
For therapist, doula, and entrepreneur Hillary Aponte-Chimelis, the holiday season is more than a time of celebration—it is a moment for reflection, emotional honesty, and reimagining traditions. As the founder of Emotional Compass, a practice dedicated to culturally attuned and trauma-informed care, Hillary has spent 17 years helping individuals and families move through grief, joy, and transformation. She also leads Postpartum Support International’s virtual Pregnancy After Loss support group twice a month and contributes regularly to Palo Magazine.
In this conversation, Hillary opens up about entrepreneurship, family legacy, and the emotional realities the holidays often bring.
PM: As an entrepreneur and founder of Emotional Compass, how have you had to create “new traditions” in the way you run your business or care for yourself during the holiday season?
HAC: I have learned to create new traditions that honor both my work and my life. I build a flexible schedule and set clear boundaries so I can be fully present with my family. The end of the year is my time to pause, reflect on my growth, practice gratitude, and set intentions for what is ahead.
In my work with clients, I focus on offering a safe space where they can express themselves openly because the holidays often bring complex emotions. And for my own well-being, I commit to self-care and being intentional about quality time with family and friends. As a leader, it is not about doing it all, it is about choosing what matters most. For me, it is quality over quantity.
PM: Which traditions from your childhood still mean the most to you today?
HAC: As a child, the holidays meant gathering at my grandmother’s home in New York. I can still remember the music, the dancing, the food, and the joy of simply being together. When my family moved to Pennsylvania during my high school years, those traditions continued, just in a new setting. I looked forward to the holidays even more because my family would travel to visit us and bring that same spirit of connection, celebration, and love.
PM: In your work with families, what emotions rise most during the holidays? And how do you help people create emotional safety during a season that often triggers old wounds?
HAC: I witness a wide range of emotions. Loneliness, grief, and stress often surface—but so do moments of connection, comfort, and togetherness. I remind families to hold space for both joy and sorrow. It is not about choosing one over the other; it is about allowing the full spectrum of what they feel. That is where true healing begins.
I help clients build emotional safety by normalizing the full range of feelings the holidays bring. In our sessions, we explore rituals that resonate with them, set healthy boundaries, and make room for both joy and grief. I also incorporate interventions like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help clients recognize, reframe, and respond differently to the thoughts and emotions that arise.
PM: What advice do you give to families who want to honor someone they have lost during the holiday season?
HAC: I encourage intentional rituals: lighting a candle, cooking their favorite dish, or sharing stories at the dinner table. What matters is giving yourself permission to acknowledge the loss while still celebrating the love that remains. Grief and joy can coexist; they do not cancel each other out.
PM: Many bilingual or bicultural families feel pressure to “keep things the same.” How can they blend traditions in a way that feels authentic?
HAC: I encourage families to view this as an opportunity—not a burden. Authenticity comes from creating rituals that reflect who they are now, not just where they come from. Families evolve, and traditions can evolve with them. Blending cultures is a beautiful way to honor the whole of who you are.
PM: What is one tradition you hope your children carry into adulthood?
HAC: I want my children to feel the same love, joy, and connection I experienced growing up—the laughter, the comfort of being surrounded by family, and the understanding that the holidays are about so much more than gifts. Our family traditions are rooted in togetherness. I hope they carry that sense of presence into their own futures.
PM: Hillary, if your life were a holiday postcard, what would the message on the front say?
HAC: “Honoring every feeling in every season of life.”
