Although birth and death go hand in hand, most human beings do not see it that way. We should learn to talk about the process of death naturally and that way we would assimilate it easier. Communication is key to making this transition less severe for the widow or widower, especially since with widowhood comes mourning and uncertainty.
There are so many changes and adjustments that it can be overwhelming. The loss of home is another feeling of pain at that time. Stress and pain can cause physical and emotional damage. The important thing is to understand that the help of children and family are vital to overcome the crisis. Grief is individual and each person handles it as they can. Society does not see bad that a widower rebuilds his life looking for a new partner, but sadly women tend to be judged if she does. Plenty of times the woman seek refuge in their children and grandchildren. That helps her to vent her sorrows and mitigate loneliness. However, for the man to seek help from his children or family is a little more complicated.
As a widow and to prevent grief from killing me or making me sick, I have used the experience to develop skills and enjoy a freedom that I was not used to. Since my husband and I had a plan for either of us who stayed on this planet, the adjustment for me has been smoother. It is not easy, but it is a life cycle that we have to go through. So, make your plan and you will find that while their physical presence is gone, the love is eternal.
Maria M. Garcia, BA, MA
