I reached out to our Virtual Youth Ambassadors last week, to ask them what today’s teens worry about. It might not surprise you to know that the responses they gave mirror the top teen worries that come up on a Google search: how we are seen/perceived by others, not fitting in/belonging, and disappointing others/failure.
All too often I have heard adults take the approach of minimizing these worries with pithy phrases or empty reassurances: ‘don’t be a drama queen,’ ‘welcome to the real world,’ ‘you won’t even remember this in a few years,’ to state a few. With the best of intentions, rather than seize these moments as opportunities to support youth in growing their ability to express and move through their emotions, we short circuit the process by shutting the conversations down. I find myself wondering whether our adult reflex to dismiss is more about self-protection than support. Not wanting to acknowledge our own similar worries, or not wanting to wade into the discomfort they are experiencing, we miss an opportunity to model healthy relationship.
Teens are human. Humans on their way to becoming adults, living through a tremendous developmental phase that is happening on every level (physically, mentally, socially, and emotionally). This transformation can intensify their experiences at the same time they need to develop the relational skills to handle their experiences. Rather than minimize the significance of this challenge, we do better to acknowledge it.
That’s what makes ‘Askable Adults’ – adults who are also human and willing to admit it – so important. An ability to listen, validate (rather than negate or minimize) and truly support teens as they build the skills, they need to thrive is priceless. And if we are honest, who among us won’t benefit from walking through these “skills refreshers” with a trusting teen?
Berks Teens Matter
by Nadine J. Smet-Weiss, Community Liaison; translated by Johnathan Rodriguez-Báez, HRC and Youth Ambassador Coordinator
