In a family conversation I had recently, we talked about how growing up in a family environment where there was no effective communication affected us. How this affected us in our lives and our relationships with our partners and children. We struggle not to repeat that story and break the cycle.
There are so many phrases that I know and that many of us use, like; “because I said so, period!” “Are you stupid”, “don’t you understand?” These sayings can be used in a positive or negative way. It can also be either a warning or an insult. When we unleash our emotions and don’t filter our thoughts, they turn into words that hurt and can mark our lives.
Studies indicate that not having effective family communication affects the development of our children in a social and emotional way. Those in adulthood develop psychological and behavioral problems in family and social settings.
For healthy communication it is recommended:
- Let’s speak clearly and slowly.
- We are attentive at all times and eliminate anything that distracts us.
- Don’t judge, don’t criticize
- Take time to answer, don’t lose your cool.
- Be empathetic, respect, apologize when offending. And try not to insult or belittle the other person.
- Don’t use silence to avoid discussing an issue, don’t yell to validate your point.
- Learn to take your turn while you are speaking.
- Be patient while talking to your children, your partner, or your parents.
- Take time today to have good family communication.
- Adopt an attitude of resistance to what keeps us from creating a climate that helps improve our communication in our family.
- Let’s not repeat our experiences, let’s learn from them.
“Those who do not learn from history are condemned to repeat it” – George Santayana