That question might cause you to pause. It kind of puts you on the spot, doesn’t it? You can sense that the ‘right answer’ is ‘yes!’ But, at the same time you may wonder. Does being ‘askable’ mean I have to have an answer? Does it mean I have to have the answer, as in the right answer? That’s a lot of pressure.
Being ‘askable’ doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers all the time. In fact, it doesn’t even mean you have to have most of the answers most of the time. It is actually more about being open to questions than it is about giving answers. In fact, being ‘askable’ can sometimes mean asking a question that arises naturally from a scene in a movie or a situation in the news.
For example, you might ask your child what kind of future they imagine for themselves. Do they think they want to be a parent someday? And if so, what would they like to have in place before that happens? Or ask your child what they think about relationships, and how they would like to be treated in a relationship? Then listen to their answers. If you listen well, there is a good chance they will want to know what you think about the question too.
Opening up conversations like these sends a message that you value what your child thinks. This, in turn, helps to develop their esteem, build their decision-making skills and deepen your connection with them. Want to learn more about being ‘askable?’ Contact us to learn about our free “Askable Adults” training: www.berksteensmatter.org
by Nadine J. Smet-Weiss
