For so many young men and women… finding the right person is an essential part to solidifying a successful life. The right person that gets us, completes us, and allows us to the dream of getting the house, the family, and the dream! Although, this process is not for all and has been delayed a number of years due to continuing education and prolonged independence; it’s still a big dream for the majority. As great as the process is and can be… there are 3 other marriages that get over looked and are essential to becoming a leader, in and of, our own lives and leading us to the real experience of success! So, what are they?
Back in the 1990’s, you may remember Dennis Rodman, a famous NBA player for the Chicago Bulls. He became known for the outrageous; hair color, fashion, his style of play, off the court behavior, and one particular incident of marrying himself… He arrived in horse & carriage, decked out in a white wedding dress, and blonde wig to a church to marry himself. Many were in shock as the event unfolded, but as I watched it… I couldn’t help to think he was a genius! The wig and wedding dress wouldn’t be for me, but the concept of Marry Oneself had never entered my mind.
At some point, many of us will stand at an alter of some sort and give ourselves to another person, making vows to the relationship and that person, and hopefully live them out until death do we part. But… when was the last time you’ve made a vow to and for yourself?
We all get ready in the morning and brush our teeth in front of that mirror to head out to win the day, but how many times do you make intentional eye contact with that person in the mirror? I remember the day I married myself… like any other day, standing in front of the mirror getting ready… I was in the beginning stages of starting my business and about to take the leap into full entrepreneurship; I felt compelled to make eye-contact, maintain eye-contact, and make some vows to me! I vowed not to fail, to reach my definition of success, to go deeper and also be a success as a husband, a father, and friend. I vowed to live my dream of supporting my family with content I created and through my own business and to live our desired lifestyle as a family! What a powerful moment; I will never forget it and use it as daily motivation!
“What vows will you make for yourself, your life, and your future?”
Marry Your Dream
Most of us have dreams… dreams for our lives and what we want to have. I encourage you to go further and also dream of who and how you want to be! When I ask most people their definition of success or what their dream is… they tell me the one thing they believe if they chase hard enough and catch it will make them happy. I hope everyone achieves their dream and being a Dreamleader (discussed in my book “7 Ways to Love”) is the cherry on top of any relationship. However, the typical one-perspective response I receive is limited and dangerous… because one of three things will happen to our definition of success:
- We will achieve our definition of success and not be the person we need to be to enjoy it or keep it.
- We will achieve our definition of success and it’s not what we thought it would be; leading to feeling unfulfilled, depressed, and lost
- Or… we achieve our definition of success; we’re the person we need to be to enjoy it… and life comes and gut punches us and changes everything
So, be sure to Marry your dream… but also know what success and your dream looks like in your 4 P’s: as a Person, a Partner, Parent, and Professional so when your original definition of success changes or is taken away by life YOU are still great!
“Be sure to marry your dream, but not the path you think will get you there or more importantly the path you think you deserve!”
Marry Your Why!
What you want of life or success is good to know… “Why” you want it is even more important! Our “Why” is who we are, our motivation, and what will be needed in the tough times as we will need to reflect on why we are doing all of the hard work that our life, our dream, our relationship/s take.
Remember “Why” you went into your field of choice, your relationship, etc. Prepare yourself… sometimes your “Why” may change. It doesn’t have to be for better or for worse… it simply may be different. If you choose to stay on the path… then appreciate the positives your “Why” offers, smile, and do and be your best. Manage the negatives of your situation, eliminating what you can’t control and doing your absolute best in what you can! Enjoy your EVOLUTION and your new Marriages as you EVOLVE into the leader you were meant to be!
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By Andre Young